How To Move On | Dealing With Loss


Now Playing: Lost & Found- Lianna La Havas


Happy Sunday beautiful, how's it going for you ? If this is your first time joining us on Soul Sundays, welcome. This is a place to vent , release and lay down your woes from the week. The comment section is your own special haven and I am here to listen , always. If this is not your first time, welcome back , come on in. 

This week has been pretty normal for me, post sickness , so thank God for that, but with Venus still in retrograde my emotional self has been taking a major beating. Am I the only experiencing the full breadth of foolery this retrograde? I would consider myself to have a pretty healthy leash on my emotions and I have matured a great deal compared to how I use to cope with certain situations , but with this retrograde all that hard-work and improvement is out the window. Simply put. I am a mess. Heavily on my mind this week has been some of the losses I have experienced within the last few years, not from death , but choice. I have long held steady to the truth that "People Always Leave", since the first time I heard the words spoken by my favorite character on my favorite tv show (Any OTH fans?) Even knowing this, losing someone I love is something I still haven't learned to come to grasps with; letting go is not one of my strong suits. To add to the heartbreak these losses have all been from choice, a conscious decision they made that I no longer deserved a place in their lives. I have dealt with issues of abandonment pretty much my entire life and have learned to cope with it by myself because I've learned from experience that talking about it only makes it worse. Friends , family, love interests , they've come and they've gone; my life a revolving door hurt. I don't know that I'll ever be in a place where it won't sting, but I am praying that one day my smile will be brighter and my laugh a bit deeper. Losing someone by choice , their choice, is never easy and sometimes moving on seems impossible especially when the end was sudden and abrupt. So many emotions. so many questions. I get it, trust me. But moving is on is necessary; your soul is depending on it.  

Here are a few gems that keep me going when life hits hard and my heart threatens to boil over and explode. When the weight of the loss is too much to bear, may these words help you find peace. I hope they keep you sane & help you breathe a little bit easier; you deserve that much. 

"All that left you couldn't stay and all that stayed couldn't leave."- T.D Jakes

This is beautiful because it takes the blame off both you and the one you loss. Sometimes it's just this simple. If you believe that there is a greater plan for your life you must also accept that sometimes not everyone is meant to enter each new season of your life with you.

"At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life."- Unknown

Letting go doesn't mean that you have to erase the memories and what they meant to you. Your heart has room to love , just maybe from a distance is better. In my experience trying to suppress the memory or totally forget someone I love who left just makes it worse. It happened, they were there at one point. Cherish the memories, but let go of the person.

"Time heals nothing unless you move along with." Rachel Wolchin

Time can only work its magic, if you work along with it. You can't expect wounds to heal if you keep pouring salt on them. Stop beating yourself up about something you cannot change. The first step of moving on is to stop dwelling on the hurt, trust me, it won't bring them back. Stop re-reading the text messages, stop scrolling through their social media feeds ; don't make this harder than it has to be. 

It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to mourn and grieve. Just promise me that once you do , you'll get back to your life; you can't stay in that dark place. No matter what the reason or explanation the truth remains that they are gone and like it or not you have to find a way to move on. Maybe not today or tomorrow , but one day it won't sting as bad , the tears won't drop so hard & the memories will make you smile. I pray for you the love you loss and so much more.

You deserve that. 

Here's to moving on & letting go, for you.